This quote is at the top of mind as I transition back in to living in the U.S. I have to say my greatest fear in life
is to live with out depth, intention and awareness. This is quite possibly the worst thing
that could happen - to lead a shallow life.
I reflect on all the memories and experiences that awakened much of the inner mermaid in me during my time in Nicaragua. Not only the connection with the ocean, but the interaction with raw nature, living simply and with out excess, my personal growth and reflection, as well as all the deep interactions with many people. I was literally a fish out of water when I arrived and some how I've linked the two worlds to feel more like I belong on land and in water. The challenges I faced forced me to grow and dig a bit deeper. There is a sense of accomplishment in realizing that I was the happiest(and still am) living in Nicaragua with out all the amenities that I once thought were necessary. The daily adventures and challenges kept me engaged, alive, and aware. Even after two years in Nica, life was unpredictable. Every day held something new and I realize that is how I want to live from here on out.
I will not let myself be complacent. Impermanence is a word that has also come up lately. My time in Nica had an expiration date, but then again doesn't everything? Not all relationships, jobs, life challenges are meant to last and isn't that what makes life so interesting? and unpredictable? and impermanent? the one thing that we can rely on is change. But we owe it to impermanence for helping us grow because each time we make an adjustment we are thrust in to that space of the unknown where we must dig inside to get ourselves through. And although it sometimes is scary or painful, doesn't it always reward us with enlightenment and a lesson learned when we come out on top? It's powerful stuff. (one of my Peace Crops theme songs)
Although I was not 100% ready to leave Nicaragua I know that I was getting really comfortable in my lifestyle and work. Not that I would have ever felt complacent, but I am inviting the next step and challenge to make sure that I keep growing as I go forward. I also know now that the lifestyle I had in Nica is something I want to mesh in to my future. Grad School will challenge me in different ways and one of them will be to not loose sight of all that I have grasped during my time abroad. My feelings about the ocean, the people I met, and the Nica culture will never change and I intend to push to keep those feelings strong and cherish their impact.
My journey ahead may have a more practical set up in comparison to the Peace Corps, but I will push myself out of my comfort zone every chance I get. I will also make it back to the all so familiar Latin American scene come my study abroad in Guadalajara, Mexico and internship in South America to challenge myself in completely different ways.
As I transition I see many differences in values between Nicaragua and the U.S. , which makes me appreciate and also frustrated with our country. This is where I want to be aware. To not fall in to the typical work, eat, work out and sleep routine that we all have seen too often. I will not become a part of the rat race and can say after my experience in Nica that this goal is very doable. In fact you just have to manifest it for yourself. I met individuals who made their dreams of starting an eco-lodge and NGO to rebuild an impoverished community a reality. They have been truly inspiring along with many others.
I see how quickly we race around in the U.S. and judge ourselves if not every second is productive. I do the same, but have gotten better at just soaking up the present, whatever it may hold. When I head out to surf, I say," that every day on the water is a good day", waves or no waves. Obviously I'd like to catch a wave, but what about just sitting on my board past the break soaking in the scenery? Maybe in my previous life I wouldn't have thought that as productive.
I look at my calendar and realize the only thing I have noted is the first day of classes for my International MBA Program on June 3rd and a wedding for my friend Julia in Philly on July 19th. This freaks me out, but also gives me a wealth of excitement as this new journey unravels. And no I probably won't be surfing or hiking volcanos with as much frequency, but the beauty of not knowing what will fill my calendar is exciting.
On Chinandega's oceans is where I met a wealth of amazing individuals who will forever be with me. I gained myself the nick name of weekend mermaid as I would show up each weekend to surf with out fail. I promise to make it back to this place that literally stole my heart. I also promise to return to the ocean as much as possible to re-wet my scales and remember what makes me tick and keeps me alive. I promise to stay aware, alive and to challenge myself do live deeper and to never approach shallow waters.
Shout out to my friend Chris for capturing my last great surf in Nica! Chris is also the gal that did all the work to produce the Artesenia del Mar jewelry catalogue and is now continuing to work with the ladies. Check out her work at http://designbodyandsol.wordpress.com/
**My friend Ryan gifted me this song and told me it reminded him of me a few days before I left country and I've been listening to it non-stop since. Vampire Weekend- Unbelievers reminds me of my move back the states and what the future may hold.
I reflect on all the memories and experiences that awakened much of the inner mermaid in me during my time in Nicaragua. Not only the connection with the ocean, but the interaction with raw nature, living simply and with out excess, my personal growth and reflection, as well as all the deep interactions with many people. I was literally a fish out of water when I arrived and some how I've linked the two worlds to feel more like I belong on land and in water. The challenges I faced forced me to grow and dig a bit deeper. There is a sense of accomplishment in realizing that I was the happiest(and still am) living in Nicaragua with out all the amenities that I once thought were necessary. The daily adventures and challenges kept me engaged, alive, and aware. Even after two years in Nica, life was unpredictable. Every day held something new and I realize that is how I want to live from here on out.
I will not let myself be complacent. Impermanence is a word that has also come up lately. My time in Nica had an expiration date, but then again doesn't everything? Not all relationships, jobs, life challenges are meant to last and isn't that what makes life so interesting? and unpredictable? and impermanent? the one thing that we can rely on is change. But we owe it to impermanence for helping us grow because each time we make an adjustment we are thrust in to that space of the unknown where we must dig inside to get ourselves through. And although it sometimes is scary or painful, doesn't it always reward us with enlightenment and a lesson learned when we come out on top? It's powerful stuff. (one of my Peace Crops theme songs)
Although I was not 100% ready to leave Nicaragua I know that I was getting really comfortable in my lifestyle and work. Not that I would have ever felt complacent, but I am inviting the next step and challenge to make sure that I keep growing as I go forward. I also know now that the lifestyle I had in Nica is something I want to mesh in to my future. Grad School will challenge me in different ways and one of them will be to not loose sight of all that I have grasped during my time abroad. My feelings about the ocean, the people I met, and the Nica culture will never change and I intend to push to keep those feelings strong and cherish their impact.
My journey ahead may have a more practical set up in comparison to the Peace Corps, but I will push myself out of my comfort zone every chance I get. I will also make it back to the all so familiar Latin American scene come my study abroad in Guadalajara, Mexico and internship in South America to challenge myself in completely different ways.
As I transition I see many differences in values between Nicaragua and the U.S. , which makes me appreciate and also frustrated with our country. This is where I want to be aware. To not fall in to the typical work, eat, work out and sleep routine that we all have seen too often. I will not become a part of the rat race and can say after my experience in Nica that this goal is very doable. In fact you just have to manifest it for yourself. I met individuals who made their dreams of starting an eco-lodge and NGO to rebuild an impoverished community a reality. They have been truly inspiring along with many others.
I see how quickly we race around in the U.S. and judge ourselves if not every second is productive. I do the same, but have gotten better at just soaking up the present, whatever it may hold. When I head out to surf, I say," that every day on the water is a good day", waves or no waves. Obviously I'd like to catch a wave, but what about just sitting on my board past the break soaking in the scenery? Maybe in my previous life I wouldn't have thought that as productive.
I look at my calendar and realize the only thing I have noted is the first day of classes for my International MBA Program on June 3rd and a wedding for my friend Julia in Philly on July 19th. This freaks me out, but also gives me a wealth of excitement as this new journey unravels. And no I probably won't be surfing or hiking volcanos with as much frequency, but the beauty of not knowing what will fill my calendar is exciting.
On Chinandega's oceans is where I met a wealth of amazing individuals who will forever be with me. I gained myself the nick name of weekend mermaid as I would show up each weekend to surf with out fail. I promise to make it back to this place that literally stole my heart. I also promise to return to the ocean as much as possible to re-wet my scales and remember what makes me tick and keeps me alive. I promise to stay aware, alive and to challenge myself do live deeper and to never approach shallow waters.
Shout out to my friend Chris for capturing my last great surf in Nica! Chris is also the gal that did all the work to produce the Artesenia del Mar jewelry catalogue and is now continuing to work with the ladies. Check out her work at http://designbodyandsol.wordpress.com/
**My friend Ryan gifted me this song and told me it reminded him of me a few days before I left country and I've been listening to it non-stop since. Vampire Weekend- Unbelievers reminds me of my move back the states and what the future may hold.
